Jim Jones: Vampire Meteorolgist

One of the most interesting careers in rap just got even more interesting to me.

The podcast is currently in the middle of a huge overhaul that involves contracts, lawyers, staffing, production meetings and a new home. More on that when I’m at liberty to discuss it but it’s looking like we’ll be coming back from hiatus for bigger and better! In the meantime I’m still trying to figure out the best day for this newsletter (Tuesday or Wednesday) and you can get your dose of new music over in the Rec’s N Effect section.

How come nobody told me that Jim Jones was seven seasons deep into a show that is centered around him doing a national weather forecast?! Did y’all forget just how passionate I am about the weather? I’m sure more than a few of you knew about me subscribing to Dark Sky weather app (before Apple bought it and rolled it up into their weather app) only to move on to to the Carrot weather app for a bit as well.

(Okay maybe some of you didn’t know that BUT if you follow me on IG you might remember how for a while I was doing a spoofy weather forecast thing in my stories. Suffice to say I really enjoy weather and meteorology so if you’re trying to make small talk with me “how’s the weather?” is probably not the angle cus that’s a legit heater of a conversation starter for me.)

So you can only imagine the pure jealousy tinged excitement that I felt when I saw that Jim has been living out my green screen dreams and even being given access to actual* newsrooms** to do forecasts.

*it’s Fox so we use actual here very lightly
**it’s Fox so we use newsrooms here extremely lightly

Sidebar: I am fighting the urge to make this entire post about my general dislike of Rosanna Scotto and general love of local news affiliate stations but that’s another post for another time.

The thing about Jim Jones doing the weather is that it feels weird because it feels so… natural?

In my mind he was hype man, weed carrier, silent partner adjacent so when he popped up on Cam’ron’s debut it felt as novel as his mom rapping and since they appeared on the same track I did not think much would come of his musical pursuits. Fast forward to now and he’s a legitimately compelling artist who’s verse I look forward to hearing from time to time.

I don’t remember the moment where I gained a full appreciation for him as a rapper but I do know that the song Ballin’ had absolutely nothing to do with it. Pop Champagne and the Ron Browz era in general also did not have much to do with it. The Diplomatic Immunity series and Dipset as a whole didn’t even make me a fan. I do remember thinking that he had an ill voice but the rapping just wasn’t there for me. It wasn’t until I heard the Pete Rock produced ‘We Roll’ that I said “okay, NOW I’ll pay attention.:

But I digress here is a clip of him back at FOX 5 doing the weather again and if you go to the youtube page the video description says “Rapper and comedian Jim Jones dropped The Drip Report for FOX 5 NY.”

Comedian? Uh… okay.

Jim was self admittedly was more interested in making money than rapping when he came into the game and while the bars have gotten significantly better he never lost sight of his initial goal: extend the brand and make some money.

Which brings us to Vampirelife Enterprises

Per the description on the website:

Vampire Life Enterprises is an organization of businesses ,investments and ideas cultivated by Joseph “Jim” Jones. While the focus of creating great music is still a priority, Jim is also shifting attention equally across some of the things he loves. Take a moment to explore, and feel free to send us a message!

And the businesses in the Vampirelife Portfolio include a cannabis brand, a health fitness brand, a virtual recording studio and of course a record label. All of these are things that make sense when you think of Jim Jones but the name has bothered me for years. Like I get it hustlers come alive at night and run the streets but there is just something strange about vampires being thought of as aspirational.

Aesthetically there are approximately three people that Vamplife would makes sense for as a brand:

PLAYBOY CARTI

TRIPPIE REDD

This weird dude who raps as Dracula.

When I heard about Vamplife I was hoping Jim had gone full on goth in imagery. Like imagine if Jimmy popped up kicking bars about Nosferatu and not fucking with the steaks/stakes at Ruth Chris all while dressed like Blade. We’ve all seen people do pullups on crosswalk signals but if Jim was truly about that Vamplife he’d just hang there upside down scaring the shit out of people.

This also reminds me of that time that Cam’ron launched a line of capes which feels more Vampirery than any of the Vampire Life clothing that I’ve seen online. Yes my research was very brief but if your clothing line is centered around Vampires and you ain’t selling gold fangs or custom caskets the least you can do is hit em with the cape.

Wait was Cam dropping the capes to undercut Jim? They’ve had their spats and the most petty thing in the world seems to be to earnestly hit up fashion week for a cape collaboration while your man’s is claiming to be a modern day vampire.

For an aspiring weatherman who enjoys weed and fitness I kinda feel like Vampire is a strange association but what do I know, it clearly seems to be working for him. The whole reason I started pulling at this thread was because I was envious of his access to meteorological technology and I still feel some sort of way about it. With that said if anyone would like to offer me a shot at doing the weather I am ready to make that pivot.

Oh wait… Jim Jones is a blood. Vampires. Ah okay, now I get it!